Are there times when you find yourself allowing difficult circumstances to overwhelm you. Learning how to remain calm in times of stress will help things go more smoothly enabling you to resolve them so much easier.
We are all going to face tough situations in our life at some points, they simply can’t be avoided. It’s how we handle ourselves during these troublesome times that goes a long way to determine how things will pan out in our lives.
Things like losing a job or going through a divorce of course are hard things to cope with. But then there’s dealing with debt collectors, crazy drivers on the road in front of you, an unhelpful customer services representative. They’re not nice, but often we over react when confronted with such things.
Sometimes are reactions are completely over the top, where we lose our head and often feel all types of negative, debilitating emotions like anger.
It’s in-the-moment of crisis where we can make seriously bad decisions. You must understand that how you deal with a negative circumstance plays a vital role in your overall outcome and quality of life. When something bad hits us, we can easily just sit there and take it. We can mope around and be depressed or whatever. Make no mistake about it, sitting around feeling sorry for yourself will not fix the problem.
Many people react in this way simply when their plans don’t work out. So your partners taken her time to get ready for that party, is there any need for your reaction ? Your partner was half an hour late home, maybe your temper tantrum was slightly over the top, wouldn’t you agree? Think about the circumstances where your blood pressure shoots through the roof, and either the tears flow or the anger erupts.
So, how do you keep yourself from being swept away in the stream of self made chaos?
How do you remain calm instead of losing your head?
You’ve got to realise that allowing anxiety to take you over does you no favours. How much better would you be, if instead of getting stressed and upset you felt calm, calculating and dealt with things in the best way possible. When you stay calm in the midst of crisis you are ready to deal with whatever life throws at you.
How better would life be, the results you achieved, and the way you felt about yourself if:
You’ll have fewer battles in your life
People were no longer able to “push your buttons”.
You’ll enjoy life more, once you get in control of your immediate reactions to things. How great do you feel at the moment when instead of showing calm, you’ve reacted in some negative way.
Maybe you bring further problems to yourself because:
- Your temper gets you into trouble
- You rub people the wrong way
- You spend so much time and energy feeling hurt, guilty, inadequate, worried, or anxious?
- You get nowhere every time you overreact to a situation
While keeping calm is easier said than done, it is a skill that is well worth developing. It can help us get through tough times with less stress than we might otherwise experience. By losing our calm in difficult situations, we can easily lose control over our reactions, and the difficulty that we are experiencing intensifies.
People think more clearly and rationally when they are calm; that is a simple fact. If we can be calm, we can separate our emotions from what is going on around us, and we can see things much more clearly than if we allow ourselves to become frazzled and stressed out. Keeping calm allows us to ride out even the biggest storms without becoming emotionally battered.
Here is the method I use to keep my calm, even when things may not be going exactly as I want.
1
Identify the Stress
What has caused this stress? Reflect for about 10 seconds, hold on to your reactions, and think what is it that’s really bothering you. What’s the one thing that has your blood boiling. Pin it down specifically to the exact thing that’s set you off.
2
Choose Your Response
You always are totally in control of your response, you have the power to choose your reaction. You may not be able to stop the situation from occurring; you’re certainly able to handle your response towards it.
Ask yourself these questions
Does it matter?
Am I over reacting?
Will my reactions create the best result for me?
Is this actually important?
3
Take the right Action
Meet the source of your stress head-on, but only when you’re ready, having taken time to think things through. Getting stressed, angry, tearful, is not going to resolve the situation. If for example you’re dealing with somebody on the telephone, stop the conversation, say ‘sorry bear with me a minute or two, I just need to deal with something.’ Use this time to gain your composure, think things through, get in control of yourself and respond in the best way you can. Inhale deeply through your nose. In your mind, count to five seconds, and then exhale slowly through your mouth, for another five seconds. Repeat this breathing pattern until you feel comfortable within yourself, now think of the best way for you to deal with this situation you’re facing.
Doing this gives you the best possibility to ensure the outcome of a situation comes out in your favour. Just focus on this situation, keep your balance, stay calm, you’re giving yourself the best chance to come out with the best result.
I know it’s easier said than done but focus on what needs to be done. Over reacting is damaging to yourself and more often than not will make matters worse.
“Never be in a hurry; do everything quietly and in a calm spirit. Do not lose your inner peace for anything whatsoever, even if your whole world seems upset.” Saint Francis de Sales
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