Isn’t it time for you to stop beating yourself up for that slip-up you made and now make this the moment where you allow yourself to recover from your mistakes? It’s cost you enough already. By thinking about it all the time and letting it keep you down it’s just doing you no favours, but you don’t need me to tell you that, do you?. Yet you’re still thinking about it, so come on it’s time to STOP.
You now need to realise that no matter the nature of your mistake you need to learn how to limit the damage from it and learn all you can from what has happened.
It is much easier to recover from your mistakes when you see them as a learning opportunity rather than something completely destructive. Now I know this is harder said than done. But let me assure you, when mistakes are seen as opportunities to learn, you give yourself the mindset that will enable you to recover from them. Otherwise you will simply allow the damage to spiral out of control. I should know, that’s what I did through the darkest period of my life.
I can remember like it was only yesterday continuously thinking through all the events leading up to my ‘downfall’ back in 2007 and seeing with intense clarity all the mistakes I had made. They made me feel guilty, inadequate and a failure. I couldn’t or wouldn’t allow myself to see beyond them. My attention seemed transfixed on everything that had happened so I allowed them to continue having a hold over me, they had taken centre stage in my mind.
I had forgotten about all my successes and great decisions that had led to me having built such a great life with wonderful possessions. My mind simply focused on what I’d done wrong instead of remembering what I’d done right. Even if somebody had told me at that time to” learn from what had happened and set about on taking action to recover from your mistakes” I’d have probably have ignored them. Allowing my mistakes to keep hold of me ensured I was unable to move my life forward.
That is what I love about my role now as a blogger and a coach. I can use my experiences and mistakes to help guide others, enabling them to make better decisions and helping them to deal with the mistakes they make. I will tell them it is possible to recover from your mistakes but you’ve got to stop feeling sorry for yourself and stop wasting time thinking of ‘only if’s.’
So here let me offer a better way to enable you to recover from your mistakes.
1. Recognise you have made a mistake.
Don’t shut your eyes and hope when you open them the mistake will have simply disappeared. Do not leave your mail unopened so that you don’t have to deal with the consequences. Make sure you recognise and acknowledge the mistake you have made, admit that it has happened. Yes you have made a mistake, own up to it so you can start to deal with it and learn from the experience.
2. Refuse to adopt a victim mentality
Don’t look for excuses, blame the world or anybody that you can, and stop feeling sorry for yourself. Don’t waste time looking for the outside forces to point the finger at, instead take responsibility for what you have done and the following consequences.
3. Don’t hold it in
You need to communicate with others, share your feelings, express your concerns and brainstorm possible solutions. Sometimes the answers may be hard to find, but keep going, keep talking, looking for solutions is a very positive way of dealing with the situation you are in, and allows you to share your problem which I can say is important because trying to deal with things on your own makes it so much more difficult. Also you need to apologise to those close to you who may also have to deal with the repercussions of what’s happened. You owe it to them to ensure they have an opportunity to look for solutions with you and for them to know you share everything with them.
4. Get rid of your Ego
Don’t think that your reputation is on the line. Probably my biggest mistake was when disaster struck, I cut myself off from the world, particularly my good friends, because I couldn’t face the embarrassment of them knowing. This was purely my ego. It also prevented me from looking at things as they really were, I simply didn’t want to admit to myself that my successful world had disappeared. My pride couldn’t handle it. How stupid!
5. Resolve the problem
An obvious step but one that we frequently avoid. As I said earlier we fool ourselves that things can fix themselves. Well they can’t and they won’t. You need to gather your strength and salvage what you can from your situation. There are always solutions to every problem, you just have to dig until you find the best one available to you. Research possible ways, speak to the right people until you find the best possible solution to resolve your problem.
6. Learn from your mistake
In everything we do and everything that happens to us there is a lesson we can learn to help us become better, happier and more successful in the long run. Everything I learned from the hurdles put up in front of me on my life’s journey have provided me with my way of fulfilling my dream of helping other people.
I know many of you are still being affected by mistakes you made long ago and you’ve been unable to put things behind you. It is time to say “It is finished.” Every day that goes by let your past dissolve into history making sure you do the right things today.
Let my granddaughters favourite movie have the last words. Here is some dialogue from the Disney Movie ‘The Lion King.’
Rafiki: Ahhh. Change is good.
Simba: Yeah, but it’s not easy. I know what I have to do. But, going back means I’ll have to face my past. I’ve been running from it for so long.
{Rafiki whacks Simba on the head with his staff.}
Simba: Oww! Jeez– What was that for?
Rafiki: It doesn’t matter; it’s in the past! {laughs}
Simba: {Rubbing head} Yeah, but it still hurts.
Rafiki: Oh yes, the past can hurt. But the way I see it, you can either run from it, or… learn from it.
{As Rafiki picks up his staff, Simba starts running off.}
So please stop punishing yourself for your mistakes. Let it go! Forgive yourself officially and take every effort to recover from your mistakes.
A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing. George Bernard Shaw
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