Your self-confidence is one of the keys to your personal growth. Self-confidence comes from believing in yourself. When you believe in yourself you are more often than not able to accomplish what you set out to do, to overcome all those obstacles and challenges which stand in your way. When you are filled to the brim with self confidence you know you can achieve anything. You have the winners mentality.
You all have those days when everything just seems to click into place for you and you can’t believe how astounding you are. Everythung you touch turns to gold. Whatever you do turns out right.At the end of your day you replay the highlights of in your head, telling yourself how you can achieve anything when you are in this mode and go to bed just so proud of yourself, your actions and your accomplishments.
On these particular days you give it your all, everything you do, you do to the best of your ability. You feel great, because when you give your all to what you are doing, you know you have held nothing back, you stretched yourself to the limit. When you give your all to the things you are doing; even when you don’t get the results you were trying for – you still feel accomplished and satisfied.
But how often does the reverse happen? Those days when you don’t give things your all. The days you end up damaging your psyche and your self-confidence. Where you let yourself down. When you don’t follow through on the things you promised yourself; you stop believing yourself and trusting yourself. One of the fastest ways to lose trust in yourself is by not following through on the things you said you are going to do. Your self confidence then takes a hammering. You know you didn’t give a 100% and failure mentality sets in.
How many times have you told yourself you will change tomorrow. You make yourself personal promises that tomorrow will be the day. The kind of promises you make to yourself include:
- “I promise to take better care of myself- I’ll get back into exercising tomorrow”
- “I promise to spend more time with my loved ones”
- “I promise to have a better balance and stop working so much”
- “I promise to start being smarter with my money”
- “I promise I’ll start my new job search”
- “I promise to start my diet”
- “I promise to de-clutter my home”
But some how when tomorrow comes, it seems much easier to duck out on these personal promises. How many times have you personally failed to live up to the promises you make to yourself?
When you break promises to yourself, you are damaging your own opinion of yourself. You made these promises because you knew you should…eat healthy, get more sleep, lose weight, quit smoking. They all make sense. They’re all positive things to do for yourself. They all make perfect sense to you on an intellectual level. But more often than not these promises are made based on guilt, not because you are truly committed to them. With willpower you may even make a good start, but you never can sustain it. Eventually you give up on making these changes and then you feel even more guilty and bad about yourself.
Ask yourself, how many times have you promised to go on a diet, or to quit smoking? Haven’t these promises been based on emotion. You got to the point where you were sick of doing something that wasn’t good for you. So you make a promise based on that feeling truly believing that you are going to keep the promise. But what usually ends up happening is the feeling fades and reality sets in. From there you begin the short road back to where you were by breaking your promise. Once again yo’ve proved yourself a failure. But did you really give yourself the chance? Was your mindset right?
The good news is that learning to keep promises to yourself has huge value for boosting self-confidence, productivity and happiness. Each and every promise you keep to yourself builds your self-esteem and faith in your ability to follow through, to produce results. You learn to consistently do what you say you will.
If you’d like to start keeping promises to yourself, start today. Make one promise each week and stick to it for about a month. Let me offer you some basic tips:
Make promises you can keep – be realistic in your daily commitment. Don’t make promises that you know you simply can’t keep. Start small, and prove to yourself you really can keep to your own promises.
Ask yourself empowering questions – Make sure the promise you make to yourself is really something you want to do.
Is this something I really want or something others want for or expect from me?
Am I willing to do whatever it takes to make it happen?
Make it a must do – don’t let anything get in the way. If it is worth doing, then make the promise. My favourite saying as you already probably know is ‘I can, I must, I will’.
Be SMART – make your promise Specific, Measureable, Achievable, Realistic and Timed.
Write down your promise – keep it somewhere visible at home and at work. Make sure that you constantly read the words to remind you what you have to stick to.
Journal your success – keep track of your daily success in a journal. Build your evidence of how you really can follow throiugh, give yourself proof of how now you stick to your promises.
Reward success – every week when you have stuck to all the promises you have made yourself, then reward your success.
By keeping your promises to yourself you will boost your well-being, confidence and happiness.
Ask yourself the following question: What is one thing that I don’t do, that if I did every day, would greatly improve my life? Now make the promise to do, and make sure you follow through.
Only you can make the changes. Now you have to keep your word to yourself.
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“What is one thing that I don’t do, that if I did every day, would greatly improve my life?”
Great question, Larry…my answer is to think about things that feel good, as much as I can. When we feel good, we are tuned in to that stream of energy where things just flow…easily and naturally…those are the days that feel great! We can make more of them happen by being more aware of our thoughts and how we feel.
Great post! 🙂
Bec – when i read wonderful words all i can do is repeat them:
“I think about things that feel good, as much as I can. When we feel good, we are tuned in to that stream of energy where things just flow…easily and naturally…those are the days that feel great! We can make more of them happen by being more aware of our thoughts and how we feel”. Bec Owen at http://www.thehappinessgroup.com/
I used to have those days when I was working when everything would fall into place. It was an amazing feeling. Your tips are really useful. There is one that I have stopped doing that I used to do without fail, that’s walking long hours. I used to come home feeling so good about myself. I think I should start again. Thank you Larry for sharing this.
Rimly – just a quick word. Get your ass of that chair infront of your computer, use your two legs as god intended and walk walk walk.
Hi Larry, it´s been a while since I have last visited your blog…sorry! I believe in positive thinking. But it is not always easy and you really have to work on it. I find that when I get depressed and feeling down I need to focus on the positive and the good and soon my mood will shift and I will feel better and think more clearly. I love the tips that you are giving 🙂
Nelieta – every time you visit, i hope you find things here on my blog to inspire and motivate you. You can, and must find positives in your life, and you know these will help you work through your problems and struggles. Just don’t let things beat you down, stay strong, stay focused … you can get through everything.
you have been such a great support to me always..I have stopped reasoning between good and bad,which is landing me in great trouble.It’s all right letting yourself go, as long as you can get yourself back..read this somewhere..and made me think.’Inconsistency is my very essence,’ says the wheel. Raise yourself upon my spokes if you wish… but don’t complain when you are plunged back down’ – comparing life to a great wheel…There will come a time when people would put you down. People would judge you. Those who hardly know you. And those whom you thought knew you well. You will look for comfort but you will find none. You will wander the streets weeping but not a friend will be in sight.
Never let yourself down. Take heart, for no matter how awful the accusations against you are.
This is the time when your love for yourself will be tested. Whether you will believe what others say about you, or whether you will stand your ground because you know yourself best.I think I am learning to over come this…
Alpana – What would life be like if you did not care what other people thought about you? If you were completely free of caring about what people’s opinions, good or bad, where of you. Could you imagine if you went a day without so much as a single self-conscious thought abourt what others were saying or thinking. It would be wonderful wouldn’t it?Your mind would be free of thinking about the judgment of those around you. TRY IT!!!
Larry, when I was in nursing school, they always taught us about the importance about setting ‘obtainable and realistic’ goals for our patients. I have always used this in my everyday life and have found that making promises in life that can’t be kept not only hurt me, but the people around me. This is an excellent post filled with great information and suggestions for change. Thank you for sharing!
Mary – awesome comment. I can say nothing, but that you are 100% right. Again thank you for your kind words