When Life Gets Too Much

Have you ever felt life is just passing you by?

That no matter what you do, nothing changes and sometimes it all seems too much.

How do you deal with life’s obstacles?

Do you go with the flow?

Are you finding it hard to see the up side to things?

Do things seem way too hectic at the moment?

Have you got to the point where everything seems to be falling apart?

Are you feeling so weighed down, that you can’t even find the strength to do those important career related tasks or do anything towards achieving your personal goals?

We can easily manage if we will only take, each day, the burden appointed to it. But the load will be too heavy for us if we carry yesterday’s burden over again today, and then add the burden of the morrow before we are required to bear it. ~John Newton

You know you have to keep going so that you can keep on top of things and to get the important things done. But your world is collapsing around you, or to be more precise that is how you are feeling right now. Most likely you are reacting to an immediate situation which is taking its emotional toll on youl. It is taking so much out of you that it makes everything else so much harder for you to face.

Let’s be honest here. Life will always throw awkward situations at you, you will be tested by lots of problems throughout your life, and at times you just have the feeling of “I can’t be bothered to do anything”. At times you feel so down you just feel at such a low ebb you feel all the fight taken out of you, and have nothing left within you. I bet your minds pretty good atfinding convincing reasons why you can put something off, that you know you really should be doing, but hey there’s always tomorrow.

You know what the inner dialogue says at these sort of times: I don’t feel like it. I don’t want to do it. I’m too tired, I just don’t have the energy. I deserve time off . I’ve been working too hard anyway. I’ll just do it tomorrow.

Of course we always have times like this. In fact I could so easily be there myself right now.

Worry, doubt, fear and despair are the enemies which slowly bring us down to the ground and turn us to dust before we die. ~ Douglas MacArthur

I’ve had a pretty hectic week. I’ve had to put a lot of hours onto the gym floor. I’ve worked with some of my life coaching clients. I’ve had to struggle doing my least favourite work, administration and accounts all week. Of course I’ve blogged daily. I’ve had to do a lot of work in my Gym consultancy business, and strategising on my Proto-col business. So it’s been a long week, I’ve not had my full quota of sleep hours and my mind is, I admit feeling a little slower at the moment. So that’s why I’m blogging.

What? Now his totally lost it! Let me tell you something. I really love blogging. Whenever I start writing the words just begin to flow. My mind becomes totally absorbed into what I want to say. My brain just flies, and the only thing that’s difficult is typing fast enough to keep up with the words that my brain is coming with. The words just flow out, it’s an awesome feeling. No matter how tired I felt before I started writing this article, no matter how much my brain was telling me I can’t be bothered to do anything, once I get started my motivation and excitement picks up, and away I go. Right after I’m going to do something else I love, weight training.

I’m not saying that there aren’t times when you are genuinely feeling over-worked, exhausted, doing way too much, where you rightfully need to take a break. So don’t feel guilty about it, just take time to relax maybe go to bed early and forget about those errands you had on your to-do list, you deserve a break.

There is a point at which anyone and everyone starts to experience the feeling of “I can’t be bothered to do anything”. We cross the point where our physical and mental health are pushed to their maximum. Each person has a limit to the amount of stress they are capable of tolerating. Once life events of a stressful nature accumulate to the point that their capacity has been reached, the person becomes deflated, and suffers with stress which is debilitating. After all lets remember the definition of stress that I have used before. Stress is defined as “the state of emotional strain or tension resulting from adverse or demanding circumstances.”

Let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn’t learn a lot today, at least we learned a little, and if we didn’t learn a little, at least we didn’t get sick, and if we got sick, at least we didn’t die; so, let us all be thankful. ~Buddha

Below are some simple ways to get yourself upbeat when life gets you down.

• Do something you love. There is always at least one thing you can do that excites you. Spending time on this motivates you, inspires you, refreshes your mind, body and soul. Whether it is spending time with the kids, hitting weights in the gym, writing, do something that will revitalise you.
• Stop beating yourself up. Beating yourself up reinforces errors you want to avoid. Beating yourself up doesn’t help you to cope or be successful. By focusing on where we are and what’s we did wrong we stay stuck. We are reinforcing our errors by rehearsing and reliving them. Channel anger and anguish over errors and mistakes toward fixing problems and identifying and practicing what you want to do differently in the future.
• No longer spend all your time and attention focusing on what has gone wrong and burning it into memory with lots of negative energy. Spend time by bringing your attention to identifying, learning and strengthening your skills and strategies that will build your future success and happiness.
• By focusing on where we want to go and what we want to do differently in the future, we grow.
• Celebrate your little victories each day. The war isn’t won in one decisive battle, it is mostly won in the small battles along the way. Choose to celebrate what you did well today
• Enjoy the treasures that you have…your family and friends…let your loved ones know how special they are to you… give them your time today … let your love for each other refresh you
• As one great Buddhist teaches, “If you are washing the dishes, focus on that and nothing else.” In other words, live in the moment and appreciate each and every moment. Smell the coffee, the grass, the flowers, hear the children play, live life in its largest and smallest ways.
• Take time to ponder your qualities and abilities. Find your place to relax…a bubble bath or a room lit with candles and soft music…whatever helps you relax so that you have time to discover the joy that is your life.
• Set daily goals for your personal well-being. Take the time to do these things that you enjoy…things that will make you happy. Each day create a new personal goal and keep it.

Finally, don’t let a disaster in one area of your life pull down all the effort and successes you have put into the other areas of your life.

I wrote this article today in response to a comment I have received from a reader of my blog. I will not mention her name. She’s a special woman, and a great blogger. I don’t know much about her personal life, but am aware she is going through a divorce. Sometimes the emotional turmoil this heaps on her starts to pull her down. I hope this article can contribute in some small way to her journey, and help her find her strength again, and get her back to something I know she is brilliant at … blogging.

Life is a shipwreck but we must not forget to sing in the lifeboats. ~Voltaire

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