You have to believe in yourself, particularly when others don’t believe in you. I love proving my doubters wrong. In my book, when others don’t believe in me, I let their doubts be extra fuel to drive me towards reaching my goals. The drive to accomplish anything and persevere until you reach your destination comes from the inside of you, and nobody can prevent it, unless you let them.
Do you feel alone? That no one believes in you, what you can do, what you are doing? Do you find it hard to feel motivated when you feel that no one has any confidence in you? When everyone is telling you what you are doing wrong, and no one is telling you what you are doing right, it will eventually drag you down. This will not only destroy your motivation, it will probably stop you from even going for your goal. But I say don’t you ‘dare’ let it.
I do understand how aloneyou feel. I myself have had people close to me that didn’t believe in me or what I was doing. Everything I did brought criticism, questioning and derision. I was often told that I should not pursue this or that because I would fail. There are still those out there waiting for me to fall down, ready to say ‘I told you so’. I don’t worry about them a jot, it isn’t going to happen.
It’s only natural when you feel the pressure of this criticism, that you start to doubt your own abilities and eventually give up. But then your self-esteem crashes to the floor.
“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” Eleanor Roosevelt
Never let anyone tell you that you can’t or won’t do something. Always believe that you can even when others don’t. Don’t let their doubts bother you. If you put in the hard work, dedication and commitment showing a resolute mental toughness anything is possible, and wouldn’t it be nice, although not important, to say ‘told you’. If you never try or are deterred by the doubters then you will never know what could have been.
In the same vein, sometimes it seems that when you are doing well, people you care about the most may not be as enthusiastic about it as you are. It can be frustrating, to say the least. Don’t let those, who put down your good luck or accomplishments, get you down. Instead, use their lack of interest or support as motivation to do even better things. Remember, you don’t need anyone’s approval, just your own. Don’t let others’ negative or indifferent attitudes affect your desire to grow and prosper.
“Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt.” Shakespeare
Sometimes people make it clear they don’t believe in you – even people you think should be on your side.
“I don’t think you have what it takes”.
- They ask you to stop.
- They tell you that you’re throwing your life away.
- They tell you you’re wrong.
- They tell you that even if you get what you want it won’t be worth the cost.
Don’t let them put out the fire of passion in you! Believe in your dreams even when others don’t! This moment is your opportunity to believe in yourself.
Always remember, life is way too short to care what others think. If they criticise you for believing in yourself, their opinion isn’t worth valuing. Start believing in yourself and just know it’s impossible to please everyone, so don’t try. Don’t let them put you down, because if you let them, they’ll hold you there.
The older you get the more you will realise a lot of people in this world do not deserve your time, or friendship. So do yourself a favour, let them go. Don’t take anything personally, what’s the point. There are even people close to you that want to hold you back, who don’t want to see you reach the top. Don’t let them win.
Realise that you are your own person and ultimately the only one in charge of your own actions and feelings. You cannot control other people but you can control how you react and feel about them. Be yourself! Don’t keep trying to please others, or always worrying about offending others.
Be a leader and stop being a follower TODAY! Be able to stand up to people. Be independent. Have power over yourself. Nobody can bring you down, nobody’s opinion can stop you from following your dream.
- Don’t be afraid to be yourself. Don’t change yourself just because someone wants you to or they are judging you. You are you, you can’t be anyone different.
- Don’t force change on others. They are themselves, they can’t be anyone different.
- Don’t surrender to anyone. Show to others that you are your own man or woman, and you will do what you want whether they like it or not.
- Don’t expect submission from other people. Treat everyone you come across with respect, don’t try to walk over them.
- Don’t try to find compromises all the time. You don’t have to agree with others opinions, but do respect them.
- Don’t judge people. They are who they are.
- Don’t let negative people suck your energy away.
- Don’t procrastinate. Get things done.
There will always be someone who wants to bring you down, so:
- Do take charge of yourself and move beyond those who try to bring you down
- Do know that you are valuable and have special skills and talents
- Do keep a positive outlook
- Do believe in yourself
- Do stay motivated
- Do take Action
- Do give yourself credits for your successes
When you have a dream, it is your job to work hard and accomplish it. Anyone who doesn’t believe in your dreams doesn’t need to hear about it. Let them see the end result when you have achieved what you set out to do. Don’t let anyone else control you or what you can or can’t do. It is your life. You are the person responsible for yourself and your decisions. Never surrender your personal power to others. Believe in yourself. That’s where your personal power lies. In time, your goals will be achieved. Give everything you do the best you’ve got, and good things will come back to you in return.
Think to the future, when those that doubted you, who didn’t believe in you have to change their minds. If they don’t, be satisfied knowing that you accomplished your goal on your own.
“People may doubt what you say but they will believe what you do.” Author Unknown, from Achieve Your Dreams
Keep your true friends close to you, and keep the ones who are quick to turn on you, or stab you in the back where you can see them! Don’t let anyone stab you in the back. Friend or Foe. As Sun-Tzu said “Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer”.!!
No one can give you worth, value or pride; only you can do that. If you truly believe that you can do something and that you can be successful, don’t let anyone stop you. GO FOR IT!
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A strong and powerful message delivered in a straight forward manner without any sugar coating, liked it a lot. We must believe in ourselves to be successful and happy.
Sulekha. Yes, just believe in yourself. Never Stop!
Excellent post Larry!
I know exactly what you mean and those people are for the most very jealous
as they don´t know how to succeed themselves.They are trying to take you down and want to tell you that you won´t succeed when you know you are on your right path.Therefore can we only help those who have a more humble attitude and who want to change their attitudes to be able to succeed themselves.
Mattias. We can only offer a helping hand, and see whether somebody wants to take us up on it. We both try and offer support, knowledge and assistance to others, and we have to concentrate on our successes, and forget those that want to criticise us, or try to bring us down. We stand strong, and stick to our principles, and just pay no heed to those jealous of what we do, and who we are.
A while ago I decided to rid myself of all contact with negative people.. best decision I made!!! I belive in myself but it is great to have someone who believes in you also, I’m one of the lucky ones . As always I enjoyed and found wisdom in your blog!!!
http://jpweddingphotograpy.blogspot.com/2011/09/photographing-nature-in-our-yard.html
Jim again thank you for your kind words. There is the perfect soul mate awaiting all of us, the person that will believe in you 100%, support you totally, and be there to pick you up when you hit an obstacle. Being a follower and admirer of your blog, i know that you have found Mrs Right.
You answer to yourself… You dig deep within to find your strength and the trust you have placed on yourself. You are your own supporter. If you believe in yourself then the rest will follow…. Great post Larry … but yes there is a but…. where are you?
Savira, where am i? ON a wonderful journey, discovering new things about this world i live in and about he person i am, travelling along and having the privilege of meeting wonderful new people, just like you.
Larry.. Am glad to hear about this… I have seen you grow and I wanted to let you know that I see such strong passion and love in what you do. Your conviction and hard work has brought you not only calmness but sincerity in what you do. I am honored to be a part of your journey.
Savira, you have as you know played a key role in my growth. I hope no one has any doubts how passionate i am about both personal development and blogging. I love being part of evrything i do. My sincerity and this passion will stay with me throughout this journey. I count on you to pick me up if i slip. I have no doubts you will.
Larry,
Your post was very powerful and so needed today. There has been a lot of negative stuff blowing around and I have found myself doubting myself and my abilities to make things happen….
I know the negative stuff is coming from jealous ones and it is not in my power to change how or what they think.
It is in my power though if I let there words effect me and the out come of what I am doing.
I believe in myself and will not be sidelined by anyone or anything…
Thank you my dear friend.
xoxoxxoxox
JESSICA
Jessica – don’t you dare start doubting yourself. you are a talented wonderful lady. What you have created at your new blog site is awesome. Not many people could have done what you have, and many wouldn’t have the guts to even try. So madame, don’t allow sheer jealousy to knock you down.
Another great post, Larry!
When I decided that academia was not going to be my full-time gig, I joined up with a few EXTREMELY talented folk. We were out to change the world. Of course, we believed in what we were doing and we could withstand the pressures the rest of the world wanted to provide us. (And, it was SO nice to have a spouse who perpetually said we couldn’t do it. When things were going well- “this won’t last…then what’ll you do”. When things were not so good- “I told you so”. So, I did the logical thing and jettisoned the anchor.) That’s the ticket to your continued efforts- find some folks who believe that YOU can. They will provide you with the energy to keep on trying
Roy. Here here. When we allow those close to us, have an effect on not just what we do, but what we think, we have to make sure that that person always has our best intentions at heart. When they constantly show doubt, you need to take a step back, and ask yourslf, what is the real reason they keep doing this, and is their influence in our lives going to hold us back.
We are a lot stronger than what we think. When people try to bring us down it is then that the inner strength will carry us to newer heights. Eventually these people will keep quiet and slowly disappear from our lives. Very powerful post Larry!
Nelieta absolutely you’ve got it. Our inner strength can give us all the support we need and lift us to reach amazing heights. We have to be stron g within ourselves and be prepared to walk away from those naysayers that otherwise could, if we let them, bring us down.
Hi Larry,
I am kind of like you, if they say I can’t do it, I say, “Watch Me.’ I have had all those doubters in my life and I am pretty much through with them. they have there opinion (which they are allowed) and i have mine.
Sometimes people will doubt others ideas only because they are scare to get out of there own box and try new things. For thse people you have to give them a little slack and let things go in one ear and out other.
Great post and I do hope people will run with there ideas, dreams and passions after reading it. “If you can dream and think it, it is possible.”
Blessing to you,
Debbie
Debbie thank you so much, its good to read that we are kindered spirits. My hope always, when writing a blog, is that at least one person finds their way to my blog, reads my posts, and is inspired to take positive action which changes their life for the better.
Very powerful post Larry.
I wrote something similar just last month titled, Should They Stay or Should They Go.
What I’m learning is that people often mean well, even if they don’t actually do it. Often the support that a person gets is going to come from those who aren’t familiar with them… or who don’t know them per say.
The more familiar individuals see nothing but past mistakes and things that didn’t work out for the person seeking their support. What they often fail to see is the individual’s personal growth; that they might’ve gotten out of the spotlight and away from the crowd.
This post says exactly what we need to do when we find ourselves in these situations. Believe in yourself. So much so, that when the naysayers come along with their doubt, negativity, or unbelief; their words will simply fall on deaf ears.
Very Awesome post Larry! Glad you stopped by my site and left a comment. I would’ve hated to miss out on this post.
Deeone – first let me say how impressed i was with your article i read yesterday, and your reply to my comment. I agree with what you say here in your comment. I can also tell you, that on your path now as a blogger, one thing i can assure you, is that i wouldn’t have progressed as i have, if it wasnt for my online friends. They have given me support like no one else. They have never met me, but we are friends. You will meet many people on this journey, and some of them will make a contribution to your growth like nobody in your outside world. Strange but true.
What about the opposite..what about when people are rooting for you..when they see your strength and they tell you to go for it..what about when they are supporting you alll the way..but it’s you that don’t see it.. it’s you that doesn’t believe you can do it.. it’s you that doesn’t think you have the strength…what about then???…As always…XOXOXOXO
Bongo. Strange you should say that. I was reading a post last night by one of my favourite authors who despite having so many fans felt she was alone. This lady is a fighter, will never quit, but for sure her confidence is very low. I do hope that my article today When you hit the wall may have helped her.
Larry, this is a very-very thought through post! I really like your DOs and DONT’s. Even though in my life I learned that it is pretty valuable to listen to what my dearest and nearest have to say (as I know they care about me and wouldn’t say anything just to tease me), I still believe that it’s your own inner voice, your gut feeling that you have to follow to truly achieve your goals. Working on self-image and self-confidence is one of the things you have to do whilst also working on your business!
Katia, thank you. I enjoyed writing this article, because as you obviously saw it meant alot to me. I know what it’s like to be let down by one close to you, and to hear there doubts. And i admit i used that to really spur me on, and to not allow myself a second of self doubt. There could only be one outcome, there was no other possibility. I am a firm believer in listening to my inner voice, and reacting to my gut feelings, and thank god it has led me to find the path perfect for me. Recently, more than ever, i have seen how important personal development is to business, and am excited by that concept very much.
What an inspirational posts!
Sometimes, that person who thinks you’re wasting your time might be the one closest to you. Especially if you have had times in the past where you said you were going to do something and never did it or only did it partially. Maybe they see you as “flitting” from project to project. In times like this, all you can do is keep pressing on and let time prove you, not them, right.
Thanks for sharing!
Grady, excellent comment. Alas often it is the person closest to us that has lost belief in us, if they had any in the first place. In this circumstance many end up doubting themselves, and decide not to persue their dreams. They then look back in the future with regret. They needed to realise that everyone deserves the chance to prove themselves, and we all are given that opportunity. We just have to take it no matter what our close friend wants to say on the subject
Be a leader and not a following. Amen to that one! I’ve noticed that the vast majority are sheeple. Most don’t even think for themselves. Why is this? Why are there so many blind followers of the blind?
But enough about the followers. Years ago I began to understand the meaning of individuation, and decided to leave the herd and go exploring on my own. And I haven’t looked back since!
Thank you Larry!
Debra, we are told to conform, little to our elders and tow the line when we are young, so it is only natural as we develop as adults we continue following this same philosophy. I always think about the pied piper. For me, my passions are the only things i follow, but i always have my ears and eyes wide open so i don’t miss a thing. I love to share my philosophies but will never force them on anyone. They need to find their own answers, and the way that is best for them. I have no leaders in my life, but many partners.
The ones who have told me that I couldn’t do something have become my inspiration, my motivation. They quickly find that I have a lot more to give than what they may have seen. Wonderful post Larry. I always enjoy my visits 🙂
Mary again what can I say but thank you. I am totally in agreement. I love people doubting me, it always makes me strive that little bit more to achieve what i set out to do. I never flaunt my successes at them, but i admit i ensure they know all about it.
Many times in my life I have faced this type of situation. It can be a knock down to a person’s confidence when they know that someone doubts them. I try to look forward and realize that the strength I need comes from deep inside and nowhere else, although it is good to have someone rooting for you in your corner.
Anna i fully agree, it is great to have other routing for you. I wouldn’t achieve half of what i do if it wasn’t for the team i have around me. We all believe in each other. We are each others best supporters, and when things don’t go quite right we are there cfor each other. But those that doubt us, that don’t have faith in us, well in honesty i have no time for them, and certainly won’t allow them to distract me,m make me take my eye of the target, or make myself question me. They don’t have that power because i won’t allow them to.
If people believed in themselves, then nobody would have to tell them that’s what they needed to do – so maybe a more “powerful message” than simply telling people to believe in themselves would be telling them that YOU believe in them even when they don’t. That might be what starts getting them to believe in themselves, too….
Oren – we owe it to those around us, to those that trust us who have faioth in our opinion, that we demonstrate our belief in them. This becomes a powerful motivator, so you can then sit back and take pride in their accomplishments
aaaaahhh how can i tell u how much this article and all the comments of all the wonderful people that i read affected me.i am – was soo down. i am a high school athlete and everyone , my parents , friends have never shown their support. i cant explain how confused and hurt i feel and i never get to express MY side of the story and my feelings on my sports career. i feel alone but i realized that its okay.seriously its okay to feel that way. let these people come around , what matters is that i donot want to regret the decisions i make today , i want to know i tried my best even if i failed and as everyone mentioned, im still waiting for that golden opportunity to prove to everyone that anythings possible.
God bless you all! thankyou so much for indirectly picking me up and giving me courage to hold on through your kind words xxxxx
Larry, i am from east culture. People from east believe about other’s concern. Esp it is comes from mother’s side. As we all believe, no mother wants to let her children facing any bad situation or any problem as well. My situation today about deciding my future spouse. My mother and other relatives have different oppinion about the person that i love. I am very upset because the one that i love comes from broken family, the education lower then me, and they think the race this person’s owned are mostly produced bad attitude person and will affected to my life in future. But when i’m with this person i can be my self, feel so comfortable. We already plans our future together and commited to accept the weekness each other. I already told them over and over again about my oppinion. But they, esp my mom just don’t consider at all. At least i want to do what i believed and stand with my own but still don’t wanna hurt my mom because i let her down.. What do you think about it? For your additional info: i am grown up with authoritative parenting style. Thank you.
Dian sorry that i have not responded earlier, if you are still struggling with this issue please email me at coach@larry-lewis.com, and i’d be happy to try and talk things through with you.
Larry you couldn’t have been more right my friend! The way that people react to you and your actions is only a direct reflection of themselves. Because most people do not believe in themselves they are quick to judge you and tell you that it can’t be done. We all have the ability to achieve greatness but there are so many people out there that don’t pursue their passions because they were told by others that it is not possible. We are beings with seemingly endless power to achieve spectacular things and it’s a shame that many fail to see this because everyone around them is telling them they can’t do it. If we have faith in ourselves and BELIEVE in what we are doing 100% we will ultimately achieve our dreams one way or another 🙂
What if everybody sees everything you do as bad, when you know within yourself that it’s your nature and your life?